A staple diet

Of perfect love and salads

My wife has been, without a doubt, a kind and compassionate woman. Until yesterday. Yesterday she set before me one of my favorites; Spaghetti and meatballs. This she enhanced with a healthy salad containing shards of lettuce, diced tomato, and julienned cucumber. We held hands, thanked God for the meal, and then as I began to enjoy it, I happened upon something which when introduced to one of my dental fillings and crunched heartily, caused me to cry out in pain, yea, even intense agony.

A staple. A STAPLE!

Did she want to put me on a staple diet? I’ve heard of people making meals from scratch, but scratching people with meals? Fibre is one thing, but iron? Ramona was astonished and apologetic, and I accepted this as sincere. Yet, I wondered if after all these years she had just had enough of my shenanigans.

I posted the staple anecdote to Facebook (with Ramona’s approval, of course) and almost a hundred people chimed in. David advised that I consider hiring a food taster. Christine said her sister found a faucet in her salad at a restaurant. Fletcher claimed he found a piece of broken windshield wiper blade in a salad. Brenda was blunt: “Staples and mouth together? Seriously. Have you been talking too much lately?” Well, good question, Brenda. Certainly, I should listen more.

Sharon told of the time her thirsty farmer husband came in late after combining, spied what he thought was a jug of lemonade by the sink and took a long swig. It was cleaning liquid. Thankfully he was okay, but they often joke about whether she intended him to drink it or not and he has developed an odd habit of smelling the top of drink pitchers before helping himself.

The best response came from Cheryl: “She loves you. Never fear.” She’s right. 1 John 4:18 says,

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”

After almost four decades of marriage, I trust Ramona without reservation, but the only perfect love I know is the love of my heavenly Father. His love drives out fear.
So later today, I shall sit down to a fine meal and eat an entire salad without once checking beneath the lettuce leaves. And then, my wife wants me to go shopping with her. She needs to pick up a new stapler. At Staples.

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Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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