Can’t Miss Thanksgiving Recipes

Hilarious advice from child chefs

A little boy was asked to pray before Thanksgiving dinner. He squinted at the food and prayed, “Lord, I don’t like the looks of it, but thanks anyway. I’ll eat it. Amen.”

Kids were asked the recipe for turkey.

Jeremy said, “You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.”  That could be the recipe for salmonella.

Moriah says, “First you cut the bones out. Then you put it in the oven for 10 hours at 600 degrees. Then you eat it.” Then you have charcoal.

Food. What a gift. But how much is too much? Here are four signs you’ve overeaten on Thanksgiving Day.

  1. The Sumo Wrestling federation sends you an honorary membership.
  2. Scientists call to tell you that you are personally responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s rotation.
  3. Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of your Barcalounger.
  4. A nurse tries to take your blood but only finds gravy.

This year our family has been facing so much uncertainty. Like never before I’m thankful for the promises of God. Here’s are just four:

  1. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).
  2. “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations” (Psalm 100:5).
  3. “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:6).
  4. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3).

Each of these promises provides an essential ingredient in the recipe for joy: God’s presence. Enduring love. Straight paths. Perfect peace. May these be yours today.

And speaking of recipes, I asked my grandkids how to make pumpkin pie. Macy said, “Smash it Mommy. You do it. I can’t.” Seth wasn’t sure. “I don’t know,” he said. “With water and put it in the oven and put syrup and ketchup on it.”

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Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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