Court Jesters and Funnies

Have you ever been to court? I have. It is far from the happiest place on earth, but we’ve managed to dig up some courtroom funnies.

Here are some actual questions asked of those under oath:

  • So, besides your wife and children, do you have any other pets?
  • Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
  • In your opinion, how far apart were these vehicles at the exact time of the collision?
  • The 24th of December? Was that the day before Christmas?

Q. I’ll show you exhibit 3 and ask if you recognize that picture.
A. That’s me.
Q. Were you present when that picture was taken?

Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
Q. Did he kill you?

Q. Where was the security officer in relation to you when you were struck by a car?
A. To my left.
Q. How far to your left?
A. I don’t remember. I was getting run over at the time.

Defendant: “Your Honor, as God is my judge, I didn’t do it. I’m not guilty.”
Judge: “He isn’t. I am. You did. You are.” haha

Well, I don’t know if that defendant was guilty, but that judge was wrong about one thing. God is our ultimate judge, and we will stand in a heavenly courtroom one day. The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:10, “We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” That’s bad news if you are me. I have broken commandments. I’ve put mud in my brother’s clean trousers, snipped off a girl’s pig tales and cheated on a Bible memory test back in school.

Thankfully, that isn’t the end of the story. Here’s some amazingly good news from the book of 1st John. “If anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.”

At a young age, I knelt beside my Styrofoam bed and asked Jesus to forgive me. And he did. Because of what Jesus has done, when I stand before the judgement seat of God, I will be found innocent. Clothed in His righteousness.

That is very good news indeed. Court adjourned.

Court Jesters and Funnies Phil Callaway :


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Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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