A surprising conversation leads to an unlikely friendship
Frank King and I first shared lunch one cool spring day. For some time, I’d read his music column in a city newspaper and called to tell him so. We talked awhile, then out of the blue he asked if I was a Christian. “I used to be,” he said.
“I’m in the city tomorrow,” I said. “Wanna have lunch?”
So we found ourselves sharing an outdoor table, some mediocre pizza, ample laughter, and a fascinating conversation. Frank grew up in a Catholic home, but too many questions went unanswered. He saw too many hypocrites. “Haven’t we all?” I asked.
Frank smiled. “Apologists say Christianity is a thinking person’s faith,” he said. “But I’ve seen a disturbing number of believers who have stopped thinking. Time and time again when I mention some burning issue, I’m met by blank stares from my Christian friends. I have to explain what’s going on, and why it should matter to them.”
As Frank talked, I thought of my own disappointment with Christians. Of those who would wince at Frank’s cussing yet be blind to their own gossip and greed. I thought of A.W. Tozer’s words, “There is nothing so refreshing as to watch a new Christian before he has heard too many sermons and watched too many Christians.”
Frank likely noticed my faraway look. “Am I coming across a little heavy-handed?”
“No, not at all. I like your honesty.”
The clouds converged on the sun. I slipped on my jacket and Frank moved to the heart of the matter. “I was taught that the Holy Spirit lives inside believers, but most seem to ignore His guidance about loving others rather than judging them. Didn’t Jesus say that the world would know who you were by your love?”
Mostly I found myself listening and agreeing, and in the coming days, I learned a few tips that helped change us both.
1. Find common ground. For us this was music and food.
2. Be yourself. Frank loved to laugh and I was qualified to help him in that department.
3. Be real. In time I discovered that he cared less about what I knew when he saw how much I cared. And it mattered very much how I lived my life.
In my next blog, I’ll tell you the rest of Frank’s inspiring story.
