Does the Bible Really Say That?

Here are some things kids have written about the Bible:

  • Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the 10 Amendments.
  • The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  • Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
  • Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

But kids aren’t the only ones a little mixed up when it comes to the bible.

Back in January of 1993, after being fired as coach of the Chicago Bears NFL coach Mike Ditka decided to quote the Bible to the press. “Scripture tells you that all things shall pass,” said the choked up ex-Coach. “This, too, shall pass.”

A few reporters went to work looking for the reference. They couldn’t find it, largely because it’s not there.

Many Bible verses we’ve heard quoted for years don’t exist. Some contain biblical truth. Like:

“Love the sinner, hate the sin.” St. Augustine said that.

“The lion shall lay down with the lamb.” Not there. Isaiah 11:6 says, “the wolf will live with the lamb.” Close. But no gold star.

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop?” This proverb likely originated with St. Jerome.

“Adam and Eve ate an apple.” Nope. We don’t know which fruit it was. Likely a peach. That’s my wife’s favourite.

“Money is the root of all evil.” Sorry. It’s “the love of money.”

“Cleanliness is next to godliness,” has been credited to John Wesley. Good hygiene won’t get us into heaven.

Here’s a so-called Bible verse you’ve heard in two out of every three Westerns: “God helps those who help themselves.” I’m told Benjamin Franklin first said it. In truth, God helps those who can’t help themselves. That’s why we need a saviour.

“Alright Phil,” you say, “I get it. I should read my Bible more and learn what it really says.” Me too. But the truth is, it’s not so much what you know but who you know. All the way through the Bible we are pointed to God’s Son, Jesus. When we come to know and love Him, we want to hear from him each day, so we open the best-selling book of all time. Spend some time in its pages each day. We all need to. Especially the little kid who told his teacher, “Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.”

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Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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