“Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!”

Years ago, I knew how to walk and talk and wear a hat. Then I had teenagers and suddenly I dressed like a Dad, talked like a Dad, and told Dad jokes. Now, a Dad joke is any joke that has been told more than twice by a Dad. These jokes are hilarious to other dads. But for the rest of the population, they are monumentally corny. Proper responses to Dad jokes include eye-rolling, involuntary groaning, forced laughter, or just getting up and leaving a room. 

My friend Arnie is an expert at Dad jokes. Like this one. His daughter says, “Dad, I’m hungry.” To which he replies, “Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad.” Ha!

Here’s another. Your kids are eating lasagna. You say, “Lean over your plate, kids. You’ll get less-on-ya.” 

If you’re a Dad, here are more jokes that are Arnie-approved.

When a child yells through a screen door, just say, “Don’t yell through the screen; you’ll strain your voice.”

When a child asks, “How do I look?” say, “With your eyes.”

Ask your kids, “What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.” 

When your child says, “Make me a sandwich.” You say, “Poof, you are a sandwich.” 

Well, some dads may be a little out of style. Our jokes might be a bit lame. Some have been known to wear their pants too high. And we may be a little uncool. But good dads aren’t always cool. They are, however, involved, interested, hard-working, owie-kissing, diaper-changing, and nose-wiping, bedtime story-tellers. 

Romans 12:2 is an incredible verse for anyone who loves the next generation and wants to make a difference. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

And what is God’s will for us concerning those kids and grandchildren? That we love them, as God our Father loves us. We’re goofy sometimes, but better yet, we don’t exasperate them, we encourage and affirm, we show affection and kindness, we model the behaviour we want them to embrace. We can’t turn the clock back, but we can wind it up and start it right today.

And you kids out there, take it easy on us dads. We used to be just as cool as you are now. And do us a favour. Laugh at our jokes, even if we say, “What do you call someone with no body and no nose? No-body knows.”