Just the Facts


I’m a voracious reader, so I’m constantly jotting things down, hoping you’ll enjoy them on Laugh Again. Here are just a few of the notes my wife has graciously rescued from beneath the sofa. These I will file in the “Astounding Facts” category:


• Alaskans consume more ice cream per capita than anyone else on earth
• It costs more to manufacture a Coke can than the cola inside
• 19% of parents say their children ask, “Are we there yet?” more than 10 times on a trip (And I noticed that 66% of my children had to go to the bathroom the moment we backed out of the driveway.)
• Three Mile Island is only 2½ miles long
• Until 1859, baseball umpires sat behind home plate in rocking chairs. (Reminds me of the cartoon of the two elderly ladies in rocking chairs. One says to the other, “I’m getting so old all my friends in heaven will think I didn’t make it.”)
• The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds
• There is an airport in Calcutta, India, named Dum Dum Airport. In that airport, a sign was placed there by the Airport Authority of India: “Eating Carpet Strictly Prohibited.” (I agree entirely. The practice has got to stop.)
• 84% of American pet owners say they think of their pets as children. Half would sooner choose a dog or cat for companionship on a desert island than a human. (Not me. If I were told I could bring just one thing to a desert island, I wouldn’t go.)


You know that a new study shows that 100% of humans die? It’s an epidemic and that’s a fact. So the most important thing to know is where we’re going when your time is up. I’m just glad that we don’t have to worry about it. Our eternal destiny doesn’t hinge on how much we’ve achieved, or how much we know, but on who we know. When I was just a kid I knelt by my styrofoam bed and asked Jesus to save me. My mama had shown me what the Bible says – “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved,” and, “The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”


In the time it takes you to snap your fingers, a ray of light can circle the globe seven times. But your prayers travel faster than that. So talk to God today. Thank Him that He loved the world so much that He sent His son, that whoever believes in Jesus won’t perish but have eternal life. He is the true joy giver. And that’s a fact.

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