One Hot Number


Nothing makes me laugh quite like little kids. I was speaking at a Chinese church and a boy said to me,

“What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

‘Put it on my bill.’”

Kids were asked, “When is it okay to kiss someone?”

Nine-year-old Kally responded,

“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you… If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.”

Sometimes grownups make me laugh, too. Years ago, Jay Leno interviewed Irma and Ray Ziff. They had been married for over 75 years. Irma was 93 and Ray 95. “Was it love at first sight?” asked Leno. Ray smiled and said, “I thought she was a hot number.” On their first date, Ray bought her a bag of chocolates. She put it on her lap, and it melted. Ray said, “I told you she was a hot number.” They kissed on their first date. “I wasn’t wasting any time,” said Ray.

“How old are your kids?” asked Jay.

“The kids are 71 and 64.”

“What’s your secret to good health?”

“Love,” said Irma.

“Moderation,” said Ray.

Their secret to a good marriage?

“We never go to bed mad.”

On their 75th  anniversary, Ray wrote this for Irma:

“75 years ago, I, Ray, took you, Irma, to be my constant friend. I took you to be my constant partner. I took you to be my one true love. Do you feel like you’ve been taken? In all seriousness, what you were, and what I have wanted you to be, have always been one and the same thing. As we move forward from this day I will continue to cherish and respect you. To care for you and protect you, to comfort and encourage you through whatever the coming years will bring. This is our diamond anniversary. And you are the jewel of my life.

When the applause finally died down, Irma said, “That’s how he got out of buying a diamond for me.”

What an inspiration.

Reminds me of Proverbs 3:3-4, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man.”

Whatever your age I pray you’ll stay faithful to what God has called you to today.

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