The Battle of the Bald

I am a relatively young man, but already my hair has gone underground and is coming out my nose. If you’re experiencing a recession yourself, you’ll be happy to know that there is hope for the hairless. Or so I’m told. Here are some things that the scientific community, working hand-in-hand with laboratory rats, is offering that will give us balding folks hope. First of all, Music. A Japanese drug maker has released a CD of Mozart available only in pharmacies. The company claims the music will reverse the balding process. They may be on to something here. Music does have an effect on hair. My children play music that causes me to pull my hair out.


Then, there’s drugs. If you listen to radio or watch late night TV, you know this. Developers of Minoxidil call it a proven hair-growing drug. It has been known to grow hair on wood but has not worked for me. Music, drugs and thirdly, relocation. Yes, you may want to relocate. Move to a place no one knows you. Or move your hair from an area where it thrives to ‘The Dead Zone.’ If you have small children, they’ll be happy to do this for you some Saturday morning while you are sleeping. Of course, if none of these suggestions work for you, you may want to wear a hat everywhere. Or, here’s a good one: grow your eyebrows to their full length and comb them back. This method is still in the research stage, so let me know how it goes.


Whatever you do, look to God’s word for comfort and inspiration. 2 Cor 4:16 says it best: “…Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” If all goes well, I have about 30 years to live. Less if I forget my anniversary. But I think it’s a good idea to do what the Psalmist told us, to number our days so that we may be wise (Ps 90:12). More than ever, it’s my desire to live every one of those days for the glory of God.


How about you? Will you spend your life concerned with the right things? Are you content with who God made you? Is He doing marvellous things inside your head? If you’re still not convinced, you may want to shave off all your hair, leaving yourself completely bald, looking like you did it on purpose. If it still doesn’t work, try contentment. It’ll bring joy to life whatever your age. Because I’d rather be 52 years young than 32 years old any day.

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Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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