Typo Tuesday

This from today’s newspaper: I kid you not. “Waitress wanted. Must be 18 years old with 20 years’ experience.”

There are few things quite as funny as a good typo. I’m not talking about funny advertisements like the one that says, “For sale: Hardly used dentures, only two teeth missing. $100 or best offer.” That’s funny, but I’m talking about that one misplaced letter that turns perfectly harmless sentences into unforgettable goof-ups. Take, for instance, the newspaper that featured a recipe for honey mustard chicken diapers. I’ve…changed…some of those diapers. I much prefer chicken dippers, though they’re nowhere near as funny. And so to honour the typos in our lives, we’ve decided to give them their very own day. So without further ado, we present our first episode of “Typo Tuesday.” I’ll warm you up with typos found on prescription medication labels.

One lady’s pill bottle had this written on it: Take 1 capsule every 12 hours with wood. Um…may I take it with food instead? Less splinters.

Another label reads, Take one capsule per month nightly 3 hours before ded. Uh, could I just take it before bed? Or may I have another prescription?

This from a street sign: Illegally parked cars will be fine. So park wherever you want folks. In the middle of the road. On the sidewalk. On the top of the car beside you. You’ll be fine.

A US presidential ad poster—I won’t tell you for which candidate—contained a slogan in big bold letters, “A better Amercia.” America.

A sign above bakery items: Please use tongue or tissue paper when making a selection. Tong.

A large tattoo on a guy’s arm reads: No Regerts. Well, maybe he has just one.

A sign posted by some warm cookies. Try a tasty cookie, warmed in owen. Who is Owen?

Here are some mislabeled products: Pukin scented candles. I think that was to be pumpkin. Chicken nutguts. And Chocolate covered marshmallow rabbi. Rabbit.

A sign in front of a church read, “God does not make misteaks.” Well, how good to know that the intent of the sign was good and that the truth is there. God is perfect in all of his ways. He has never made a single typo, or done anything by accident.

I spoke to college students last week, reminding them of Psalm 139 (NIV), that when God formed you in your mother’s womb it was no “oops” moment. Your birth was no mistake. Your life is no accident. It says, “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Afterward a young lady told me how much those words meant. Her father often called her “my little accident.”

You, my friend, are no mistake. And when we make one, God can miraculously weave them into His good plan.

Early in his career, keyboard player Herbie Hancock was invited to play in the quintet of music legend, Miles Davis. During one performance, when Davis was near the high point of his solo, Hancock played the wrong chord. He was mortified, but Davis continued as if nothing had happened. “He played some notes that made my chord right,” Hancock smiled. What’s more, Davis never scolded Hancock or made him look foolish. He simply adjusted his plan and turned a potentially disastrous mistake into something beautiful.

We have a loving heavenly Father who delights in doing the same thing. In taking our goof-ups, our failures, and somehow using them to write a beautiful story of redemption. Romans 8:28 (ESV) tells us that

“In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose…”

Nothing is beyond His redemptive reach. May the typo always remind us that God makes no mistakes and redeems ours. Like the sign posted on a door, “If door doesn’t close properly, giggle the doorknob.” Haha.

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Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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