Have you ever been stuck? I just read of a burglar who was caught after police heard him screaming. They found the lower half of his body swinging above the still-hot deep fryer at Paesan’s Pizza. Thankfully it was attached to the top half which was stuck in a ventilation duct. Then there was Christopher…

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In case you haven’t heard anything completely ridiculous yet today, we present the Laugh Again Stock Market Report. Helium is up, while paper remains stationary. Pencils have lost a few points, and boat anchors are sinking. Hiking equipment is trailing, but knives are up sharply. Elevators are on the rise, while escalators continue their slow…

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