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Grandkids say the funniest things. Like, “Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no children of their own. They like other peoples’ kids.” “Grandmothers are usually fat but not too fat to tie up your shoe laces.” “They can take their teeth and gums out.” “When they take us for walks, they slow…

A turtle decided to spend the winter in Florida. So he convinced two Canada geese to help him out. The geese each took one end of a rope, the turtle clamped his vise-like jaws in the center, and they lifted off. Someone on the ground yelled, “Wow! Who thought of that?” Fearing that the geese…

I have confessed before about my love of gardening. I like the peas and quiet. But some don’t. A reader wrote, “I’m not saying gardening is as bad for you as smoking, but it’s close.” He listed his beefs with gardening: • Dirt under your fingernails. • It is like watching the Titanic; it takes…

Can worry be a trigger for something better? A lady walked into the doctor’s office. “Doc,” she said, “I’m worried. I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.” The doctor said, “Then take the spoon out of the cup before you drink.” As a kid, I worried a lot. Few things swipe…

Plato, Aristotle, Confucius.  They are perhaps the best known philosophers. Confucius was, without a doubt, the most humorous of the bunch. At least, that’s what I thought as a kid. My brothers often told me things he said. Like,  “Confucius say…friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.” One…

And the One who gets things right Have you ever misspelled something? Years ago, I interviewed a popular band for a cover story that would go into 101 countries. As editor, I oversaw the cover design with a photo of the band, and their name in huge letters. Instead of “The Newsboys” it read, “The…

A reporter called to interview me about my long marriage. We’d surpassed the 30-year mark and we qualified. “How did you meet?” she asked. “Well, Ramona moved in next door. So, I chose my life motto, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” The reporter laughed and asked. “Have you been together ever since?” “Pretty much. She…

If you’ve tried to type something into a computer or a phone lately, you may have noticed that these gizmos come with auto correct, a wonderful invention that has almost done away with our spelling mistakes but created a whole list of new problems. Just ask the guy who sent his friend a message, “I…

Few things are quite as funny as a good typo, that one misplaced letter that turns perfectly harmless sentences into unforgettable goof-ups. Take, for instance, the newspaper that featured a recipe for “honey mustard chicken diapers.” I’ve…changed…some of those diapers. I much prefer chicken dippers, though they’re nowhere near as funny.   One lady’s pill…