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I grew up on myths. Here are five of them: Myth 1: Swimming after eating causes debilitating cramps so wait at least 30 minutes. The truth behind this fable is all wet. Myth 2: Chewing gum stays in your stomach seven years. It doesn’t. Don’t swallow that myth. And don’t swallow other stuff either. People…

Parents are an endless source of great humour. Especially when you combine them with modern technology. Here are some awkward texts people have received from their mothers. “My Mom texted me, ‘you’re amazing’ but it got autocorrected to ‘you’re adopted.’” Another mom texted her daughter, “Clean your room. I hid $100 in there. Clean it…

A mother asked her five-year-old to go to the pantry to get her a can of tomato soup. “But it’s dark in there,” he said. His mother assured him, “Don’t be afraid, Jesus is in there.” So the little guy opened the pantry door, looked into the dark and shouted, “Jesus, can you hand me…

I am pleased to announce that I was recently awarded a medal for humility. It’s a huge medal. But still I managed to wear it everywhere. Then, the committee who awarded it took it away. I don’t know why. I guess humility is a bit like underwear. Put it on; don’t show it.

My friend Ed Wallan has more one-liners than Bob Hope. Suddenly, he’ll say with a straight face, “I want my kids to have all the things I didn’t have, then I wanna move in with them.”

Ironies sometime cause me to smile. Like this sign at a mall maintenance shop. “We can repair anything. Please knock hard on the door. The bell doesn’t work.” Ha! Well, repair it. You can repair anything. You’re walking down a street and you see escalators taking customers up to a fitness center. That’s irony. Or…

As a kid, I preferred firecrackers to Math textbooks. So imagine the irony of me preparing to speak to 12,000 school teachers this coming year. I hope they’ll laugh. Then we’ll dab our eyes together as I tell this powerful story of what one child taught his teacher. Like me, Teddy Stallard was disinterested in…

Where to go when people drive you crazy One Sunday a small boy turned around in church, leaned toward my granddaughter Sophie, slapped her arm and stole her cookie. Sophie was 10 months old. The boy was two. If you’ve had a two-year-old you’re not so surprised. But Sophie was. She looked down at her…

Do you have some rules? Here are some of our favorites A friend has this on his fridge: “Rule 1: My wife is always right. Rule 2: If my wife is wrong, please refer to rule #1. Thank you.” If you’ve met a toddler you know they have rules: “If I want it, it’s mine.”…