Articles

I’m writing this in the midst of COVID when a child needs little reason to stay home. In the olden day’s parents had to call or send the teachers excuse notices. Here are some of my favourites. I’m not making them up: Dear Teacher, my son is under doctor’s care. Please execute him. Chris will…

I have to pinch myself when I realize that I’m now old enough to have seen cassettes, eight tracks, vinyl records, CDs, Beta, VHS, DVD, Blu-ray, iPods, and Netflix. And so, I must ask myself, how do we grow old without growing cranky? How can we skip geezerhood altogether? The older people I admire have…

I told a bus driver friend of mine the famous old politically incorrect joke about the lady who took her child onto the bus one day. They sat beside a guy who said, “That is the homeliest child I have ever seen.” She yelled, “Bus driver! This man insulted me. Do something.” The driver stopped…

When I was 15 I worked one summer for a construction company. Now, if you’ve ever been the new guy or gal on the worksite, you tend to get stuck doing jobs no one else wants to do. The real challenge comes when you finish all of these jobs, and your boss catches you doing…

About 50 percent of our readers are guys. But, given the title above, 75 percent of our readers are now gals. If one thing characterizes guys today, it’s that we are tired. Do I hear an amen? I’ve just come through a nine-day week. I have a book due at the publishers Wednesday. A magazine…

A mother pulled out a picture to show her 3-year-old daughter. It was a picture of the mother way back when she was 7 years old. “Do you know who this is?” she asked. The daughter gasped, “That’s me when I’m bigger!” Kids. They add humour to our homes, joy to our lives, and Crayon…

A friend has this on her voicemail; “I’m not available right now, but thanks for your call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” It is impossible to overestimate the importance of friendship as a spark plug for laughter. A…

They say age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese. But when you’ve outlived cassettes, eight tracks, vinyl records, CDs, Beta, VHS and DVDs, you know you’re older than most, and if you have accumulated much sense at all, you realize you’re in danger of turning into a geezer. At such times, it’s a good idea…

This week I discovered that you should never be in a hurry when cleaning out the dishwasher. I stabbed myself four times with the same fork. I’ve also realized that impatience is not a virtue while you’re trimming toenails, cutting your daughter’s hair, or changing the oil in your car. It’s very important that you…