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This week I discovered that you should never be in a hurry when cleaning out the dishwasher. I stabbed myself four times with the same fork. I’ve also realized that impatience is not a virtue while you’re trimming toenails, cutting your daughter’s hair, or changing the oil in your car. It’s very important that you…

In my book, Laugh Like A Kid Again, I say that laughter is a windshield wiper. It won’t stop the rain, but it will keep you going. I have yet to meet someone who has lived through tough times—even a pandemic, war, cancer, divorce, and the death of a loved one—who says, “Laughter didn’t help…

I love watching sports bloopers. The baseball outfielder loses track of a fly ball, it bounces off his head and over the fence for a home run. I’ve caused a few bloopers myself. I’ve missed the hoop, fallen off a ski lift, tripped over my cleats, and dropped barbells on my nose. Thankfully I’m not…

When people find out I’ve been married to the same girl for 37 years in a row, they smile and sometimes applaud. But I did just about everything wrong in the early days. I was selfish. And this was before we discovered how to spell Wii with two I’s. I was cheap. So cheap that…

On Father’s Day, I have mixed emotions when my kids give me gifts. I’m glad they remember me. I’m just disappointed they think I dress like that. But fatherhood affords ample opportunity to get even. On the day Kerstin received her learner’s permit, her father took her out for a driving lesson. But he hopped…

Dear Steve, For 30 years we’ve prayed that God would provide a wife for you. A strong wife. God has a sense of humour. You’ve married Dallas, a world-record-holding powerlifter, able to squat 400 pounds. I told her, “That’s nothing. I do diddly squats.” She laughed, which is one more of a hundred things we…

We all love surprises. Well, maybe not. At her wedding, a bride got a set of monogrammed towels with the name Mary embroidered on them. “Only trouble is,” she said, “my name isn’t Mary. Not even close. It’s Sarah.” Another couple received a 20-pound box of—are you ready? Bacon. I’ll bet that made them squeal.…

My dad invented the dad joke. Most mornings I watched him in the mirror as he shaved. “Do you know French fries aren’t cooked in France?” he’d say. “They’re cooked in Greece.” Dad could get serious too. A World War II veteran, Dad taught me about The Blitz, when waves of Luftwaffe bombers dropped their…

Have you ever believed something and then discovered it wasn’t true? Here are far-fetched claims written on insurance forms. “A house hit my car.” “I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.” “The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up, so I…